OPINION | Shattering the silence, healing and rebuilding worth

For many survivors, the hardest part of the aftermath isn’t the legal battles, the intrusive medical exams, or even having to answer the tough questions from loved ones. It’s looking in the mirror and wondering, “Do I even matter anymore?” The violence doesn’t just hurt your body; it takes aim at your spirit, stripping away your sense of dignity, safety, and power.

This loss of self-worth is the silent wound, often overlooked but profoundly damaging. Rebuilding that confidence, and reclaiming your identity is a monumental challenge, but it’s also one of the most empowering steps a survivor can take. I’ve noted a few pointers below, which helped me in this area following the ordeal I endured as a victim of Gender-Based Violence (GBV). I’ve also included resources to help companies assist their employees should they need support.

Understand that your worth was never lost

Survivors often internalise feelings of shame, guilt, or inadequacy believing these emotions define their value. As hard as it is, it’s important to remind yourself that your worth is based on who you are and isn’t measured by what happened to you.

So, what do you do if you simply cannot fight off these feeling of low self-worth? Practice positive self-talk and affirmations – statements like ‘I am strong,’ ‘I am worthy,’ and ‘I am more than my trauma’ may feel strange at first but, over time they can help rebuild your inner narrative.

Surround yourself with people who uplift and respect you – support groups, whether in-person or online, can provide a safe space to share experiences and draw strength from others.

Journalling is hugely beneficial in journeying through trauma. Start by noting your daily accomplishments – no matter how small. Reflecting on your progress can rebuild confidence in your abilities.

Reclaim your physical and emotional space

Regaining control over your environment and your emotions can be an overlooked key to unlocking and restoring self-confidence.

Redecorate or rearrange your living space to reflect comfort and positivity. Surround yourself with items that bring you joy and peace.

Activities like praying, walking in nature or even taking yourself out on a self-care date can help you reconnect with your body and calm your mind.

Empower yourself through education

Knowledge is a powerful tool for regaining control and confidence. Understanding your rights and learning how to advocate for yourself can be transformative.

Familiarise yourself with local laws and resources available to GBV survivors – these considerably help you regain your power. Knowing that there are options can empower you to make informed decisions about your recovery.

If and when you feel ready, consider sharing your story as this can inspire and encourage others. Participating in GBV awareness initiatives can help you feel part of a larger movement for change.

Cultivate self-care as a priority

Healing from GBV is not a linear process. Some days will be harder than others, and that’s okay.

Break larger recovery goals into smaller, manageable steps and make sure to celebrate each milestone.

Establishing a bedtime routine and engaging in calming activities before sleep can improve rest and recovery as GBV survivors often experience anxiety and sleeplessness.

Also, remember to treat yourself with kindness. Practical examples of this include scheduling time to enjoy your favourite meal, enjoying a hobby or a relaxing bath. These small acts of self-care reinforce the message that you matter.

The role companies play in addressing GBV

The prevalence of GBV in South Africa cannot be ignored as it affects not just individuals but entire communities, including the workplace. Companies have a responsibility to address GBV through education, awareness, and support programmes.

It’s also important to recognise and understand the challenges GBV victims face daily because of domestic violence. These challenges have a direct impact on the workforce – just a few of these include:

• Survivors often experience anxiety, depression or PTSD, leading to decreased productivity
• Absenteeism can increase as survivors struggle to cope mentally
• Being employed in a toxic workplace can create an additional layer of complexity which can stall healing

Actionable steps for companies

Navigating GBV in the workplace can feel daunting. Here’s a few examples of how companies can become active allies and steer their employees towards healing and recovery:

• Break the silence: many GBV survivors suffer in silence due to stigma and lack of awareness. Workplace education initiatives can normalise conversations around GBV and create a safe space for survivors.
• Prevent perpetration: workshops on consent, respect, and anti-harassment can reduce instances of workplace-related GBV and promote a culture of mutual respect.
• Create tailored training programmes: offer mandatory GBV and harassment training for employees and leadership.
• Provide easy access to support systems: if not already available, provide access to counselling services, hotlines and flexible work arrangements for survivors.
• Policy implementation: create clear anti-GBV policies, ensuring all employees understand their rights and responsibilities.

Rebuilding self-worth and confidence after GBV takes time, courage and support. Survivors must remind themselves that healing is a journey, and it’s okay to seek help if it’s needed. At the same time, workplaces must recognise their role in addressing GBV through education; in providing the necessary resources and by creating safe spaces where survivors can thrive.

Together, we can dismantle the stigma surrounding GBV and create a society which prioritises dignity, respect and healing for all. Written by the Founder of Tears Foundation, Mara Glennie.