Blesser relationships ‘breeding traumatised generation’

Soul City Institute for Social Justice CEO, Phinah Kodisang, says South Africans need to tackle head on the blesser phenomenon, which became prominent in South Africa around 2016.

Kodisang says such relationships, which sometimes occur between minors and older men, are breeding a generation of traumatised young people.

“If we don’t address these issues, we are failing the young people who are being taken advantage of by the predators. We need to cut this trend in the tail,” she adds.

Kodisang was reacting to a social media debate about the sexual grooming of minors and parents who enable such behaviour, which was sparked by a video of an 18-year-old who was showing off her iPhone gift from her lover and a bouquet of fresh roses.

The teenager, dressed in her school uniform had a caption saying – celebrating our four-year anniversary – while inside a luxurious car and later leaning over a person assumed to be the concerned lover – kissing him.

This sparked anger with some social media users who purport to know the said man revealing that he is a pastor in his 40s and leads a church in Buhle Park in the East Rand.

X detectives went on search revealing the face of the man, which is reflected on a window of the luxurious car while taking a picture of the teenager who is captured while pretending to drive.

My close source told me that the mother is well aware of the relationship

She is quite because the pastor is paying for the fees and he’s paying for household expenses

After arresting that pastor we must lock up that Mother urgently!! 😩😩 pic.twitter.com/p1THhOadyQ

— ChrisExcel (@ChrisExcel102) April 18, 2024

This sparked calls for the man to be arrested, with some however raising questions about the girl’s parents and whether they knew and have been enabling the child’s behaviour.

So when it’s like this and u girl does not want to open a case and her mom is on her side what happens to the pastor? pic.twitter.com/pAVmmHL3tO

— Shonny (@Shonny_SA) April 18, 2024

Kodisang says there’s nothing new with what the teenager is doing.

“South Africa has for many years faced the challenge of blesser phenomenon. Even when we’ve tried to address the issue during young women empowerment programmes. We see that this thing is entrenched because there is a market created for it. Old men who have money and resources to throw around and take advantage of the innocence of young people.”

Kodisang says the flashy lifestyle young people see on social media also has a lot to do with this.

“They see how materialistic gratification is trending where people show off phones they have, bags they have and the type of hair they have. Young people are drawn to these things and since some come from families who can’t afford – they go to these men.”

“They then become a platform for grooming and platforms for these predators who predate on little girls and boys because they have resources to buy them in a way.”

She says parents who don’t question where their children get the expensive gifts they bring at home are part of the problem that normalises such a lifestyle.

 

A study on HIV by the Human Sciences Research Council (HSRC) released last year indicates that while the country’s infection rate has dropped, new HIV infections are still occurring amongst young people, especially women, the ages of 15 and 24 years, followed by those between 24 and 35 years.

Dr Chuka Onaga from Right To Care told YNews that men above the age of 50 have a high HIV prevalence and young women, who are usually forced by socio-economic challenges and the social media lifestyle to turn to commercial sex, usually get the virus from them.

Another alarming factor, Kodisang believes would be addressed by a decisive and united effort by all.